Underpants are Optional

Yeah I know. NEGLECTFUL. What of it?

2006-06-26T17:42:00.000-03:00

So a couple of people have been buggin me a bit to update. Sadly, I have done nothing interesting. No wait, I did go to Calgary to see my nephew! That was a good time. He's super cute. You can see newer pics of him here. And the west coast is a nice change from Ontario. There is a certain something that hits you when you get there. Maybe its the mountain air, maybe its the manly eau de' sexy coyboys, who knows? (Okay I didn't actually see any sexy coyboys, but they have to be there somewhere). Everyone who lives in Canada should visit the East Coast for the Ocean, and the West Coast for the Mountains. Because if you think Ontario is Canada, you be wrong, yo!

Other than that, I have been preoccupied with trying to find yet another dress for another wedding. Weddings can be fun right? Sure they can, when you are lucky enough to find something decent to wear. I am not one of those people. I shop and shop, and I buy, then I return, then I regret returning, and re-buy. Then decide I was the right the first time, and return again. I am so indecisive when it comes to clothes. Its hard being me. Which reminds me I have to book a flight back from NS. You see, I am recapturing my childhood by driving with my mom and dad to Nova Scotia. In the car, for that loooong time, I may be slightly insane. But I'm cheap, and now I only have to book a flight back as I am only going for the weekend, and they are staying longer. I decided not to go longer, on account of not having the best time last summer. My sister will be there too, with Nolan. YAY! Now chances are, I'll have a blast and be pissed at myself for not staying longer. But that's the way I roll.

Hmmm..what else is new? Oh I went horseback riding for the first time ever. It was fun. I liked the trail ride. Mostly the horse walked nicely, pausing for snacks. But it hurt like a mo'fo' during the whole trotting part. I was cursing not wearing a sports bra. Or duct tape. Seriously could have given me black eyes for crying out loud.

Anyhoo, I hope this meets the requirements for posting that my sister gave me. I'm sure I'll hear about it if it doesn't.

t-out.

I can't help it...He's just so cute

2006-03-24T20:23:00.000-04:00

Here's a couple pics of my brand new nephew, and the brand new mommy!

Here's Nolan!

2006-03-21T19:55:00.000-04:00

Here he is folks! Isn't he just the sweetest?

As Any True Irish Lass Should

2006-03-17T09:37:00.000-04:00

My sister had her baby!! A bouncing baby boy, born this morning, March 17th!

He is (though I haven't seen him yet) a scrumptious delight! How could he not with two such gorgeous parents?

Nolan Hollis Riley
6lbs, 14 oz

Mom and baby are doing great! I'm so proud of Tanya, she was a trooper! I can't wait to see my new nephew and as soon as I get some pictures I'll post them!

Later,
Auntie Tracy (god that sounds good!)

Excited!

2006-03-15T23:49:00.000-04:00

OMG! My sister is being induced. As I write this she is getting ready to make me an Auntie. (How kind of her!)So this time tomorrow I should have a wee little nephew. YAY!

My mom and dad are headed to Calgary tomorrow, they booked their tickets ages ago, with the plan that they'd be there about 2 weeks before her due date. But here she is, being all IMPATIENT, and delivering early. LOL. My mom is beyond excited, so I hope they arrive in time. I know she wants to be there for the birth, and my sister wants her there too. Anyway, I wish I could be there, but its just not possible. I will settle for a visit in the near future so I can hog the baby! I'm off for now, with news tomorrow. I promise!

t-out.

I'm just doing my part for public safety

2006-03-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

Folks, Beware! There is a saleswoman at Burlington Mall who will assault you. She is vicious! Sure she was all smiles while I was looking at all the new Spring fashions. She offered to help me out, carried my choices to the fitting rooms, ran and got me a different sizes. She was great. And then, oh how she turned. As I emerged from the fitting room to see the pair of pants in the mirror, she asked me how I liked them. When I responded that I thought they might be a little low and tight, she responded by reaching over grabbing the waistband and pulling up. The mere force of her action made me lose my balance a little, but even worse, the woman gave me a damn WEDGIE. Who ever heard of the wedgie as a customer service technique? Well I'll tell you. It worked. I totally bought the pants. I had to, actually, seeing as they were quite firmly rammed up my arse.

I just thought you should all know. Be careful out there.

Oh the shame.

2006-02-15T17:41:00.000-04:00

God I really do suck. But whatever. Thanks to Aimee's blog where she has publically outted me for being a bad blogger, I am posting this whilst at work, where I have much important work to do, but will take the time to blogaroo - just for you. OOOh see my rhyming, (how do you spell that friggin word???) I am a talented poet.

Lets see, I went to see The Boyfriend on Saturday. And before y'all get excited

(especially my parents, because I swear they must be growing tired of my pathetic spintster ways, and secretly thanking their lucky stars that my sister got knocked up, because god knows they would have to wait years for a grandchild at the rate I'm going.)

Its a play, a musical actually. And it was fantastic! It was full of jazz hands and tap dancing, and fun costumes, and most of all, SINGING!! Yay. For those who don't know, the story is about a girl and a boy. DUH! She is rich girl attending finishing school in Nice. He is rich boy but pretending to be a poor messanger, so she pretends to be a poor secretary so that he will love her (because everyone knows poor people belong with other poor people). But they both don't know the other is rich and they fall in love. Of course, their signals get crossed and there is the nail-biting moment: Will he come to the ball, will she forgive him his lies? But of course, they both come clean in the end and live together forever, fabulously wealthy.

I love how musicals make being poor sound so wonderful and romantic. Shacked up together in a one room apartment in knitted caps eating stew. All you need is love and all that bullshit. What about food and heat? What about subscriptions to Cosmo? And movies? That costs money people!

Theresa and Andrea and I were like the youngest people there, it was a sea of tight white perms, glistening under the lights. And well, you know how I love the oldies! It was all I could do, to not nudge them along trying to get out of the damn theatre. And the old people perfume smell was a little much. But I survived. I am a trooper damn it.

After the play, we went back to Andrea's and we had cheese fondue. YUM. But I found out there is such thing as too much cheese. It was totally worth it though. I miss fondue, when I was a kid our family used to go to this couple my parents knew, Rick and Louise. All I remember about them is having fondue. Well that and watching the Ewoks movie. Weird what you remember about people. We probably had fondue there one time, but it my memory it was ALL THE TIME.

Oh and I took the Go Train in so I didn't have to drive, and on the way home there were tons and tons of drunk people who had just come from the Mapleleafs game. Lucky me, sat behind an obnoxious girl who called everyone "bitches" and told her friends to "suck her dick, and suck that guy over there's dick and your mothers dick" She was a classy lady. I saw her when I got off the train, and she was this little blonde thing, in stilettos and a hockey jersey, yelling into her phone for someone to "suck her dick". Fun times.

Later bitches, suck my dick. (you know what, that does sound CLASSY).

T-out.

Blast from the past

2006-02-05T14:39:00.000-04:00

Look at her. Look at that body! This is 10 year old Tanya. This is the Tanya that used to think every secret I was keeping from her, had to be about maxi pads. This is the Tanya who got into my Noxema so she could feel all growed-up. And yet to me, this still feels like the Tanya that is all growed-up and having a baby! So CRAZY.

T-out.

Aright. I'm back. Quit yer whinin'

2006-01-26T20:32:00.000-04:00

You know when you buy a gym membership and you go religiously for weeks and then you miss a day, and the day turns into weeks and then months and then you give up? Yeah sorry, that was me with blogging. But I'm back y'all! I promise I won't stay away so long. I can't take the guilt you've been leaving in my comments. Too bad I ain't got much to say....

Lets see,
I found a new wine I like. Well its not really new. Its a Reisling which I drink all the time, but I found this one called RELAX and I had to buy cause hey, I like to relax. Basically I just like wine. Yum.

And I'm doing some resoluting...But I didn't want to jump on the whole New Years Resolution bandwagon so I waited till just last week to decide I'm going to lose weight and exercise more. Pretty clever eh? So far I have eaten healthy for a whole week. Yay! Wine is healthy right? Well it is important to RELAX. And I bought some pilates DVDs. I did them once last week and I hurt my bum. Doing the AB workout. Not quite sure how I managed that one but I think I'm recovered enough to try it again. And of course I've been trying to be more gangsta than Snoop, so far i thiznink i am doing well fo all my homies in the pen. I have written mah own R-to-tha-izzap, held up a liquor store, an pimped me some Ho's.

Ooh, and UPDATE! My sister is like 31 weeks preggers! I'm going to be an Auntie before I know it. Wish I could rub her big ole belly though. Why must she live so far away. wahhh. I think I will send her a cyber rub. While I'm here I may as well also send a cyber rub to Brad Pitt. But a different kind, okay? wink wink.

Well I should go get my brocoli steamin' I promise I'll be back real soon.

T-out.

Fo Shizzle

2006-01-03T17:59:00.000-04:00

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Be more ganster than Snoop Dogg.

Get your resolution here

Frankly, Thats Just Unrealistic: A Kong Review

2005-12-17T14:44:00.000-04:00

I went to see King Kong this week. On opening night to be exact, Wednesday, late show. Not one of my better ideas since the movie was like, 3 bloody hours long, but I like to get out, and going to the movies IS one of my favorite things to do, so I went. Going to a long movie can be uncomfortable because of the whole bum-numbing, knee-locking, bladder-filling experience that comes from being confined in a small space with giant beverages. This one was a little like that, but not as bad seeing as I was pretty tired it starting at 10 and all. But like I said, I like going to the movies, so I sacrifice comfort for seeing a movie on the big screen, which is so much better.

Anyhoo, I'm sure I'm not giving anything away when I say that King Kong is kind of an ill-fated adventure/love story between a giant ape and a pretty actress. The King Kong island has a lot of crazy-ass things, like crazy-ass natives co-habitating with Dinosaurs and giant fanged bats and FUCKING HUGE INSECTS. Anyone who knows me, knows how friggin terrified I am of bugs, spiders especially, but bugs that are bigger than people just ain't right. If you are scared of bugs, you'll have your eyes closed, for like 20 minutes at least. I closed mine for 30, for good measure.

But here's the part that was really unrealistic...
When King Kong and Ann are back in New York City, they head on up the Empire State builing. Ann is wearing a satiny white sleeveless dress (she looks totally great). By the way, its December. Its really cold there. Women are dressed in fur coats and hats, men are in long wool coats and scarves. And Ann is in a sleeveless satin dress. Now granted, King Kong probably has pretty warm fur, so like when they are all cuddly, she is likely quite cozy. But when everyone is trying to kill the ape, and he leaves her on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, it just doesn't fly with me. She should be turning blue, her hands should be sticking to the metal rail of the ladder, her dress should be up around her waist from the wind, and frankly, I don't care how padded the bra is, her nipples should so be poking out.

I went to New York City the first week of November last year with my friend Theresa.

(Side note: Remember Theresa? Remember that one time when we were in New York, and we went to the Empire State Building? Yeah, that was cool. )

Anyway, yeah we went to the Empire State Building in November, and it was bloody freezing up on the observation deck. There was ice everywhere, it was super windy and it was at least 10 degrees cooler up there then on the street.

So it just burns my... burns my what...um.. BUNS? Is that the right term? I don't think so, but whatever, it just seemed so unrealistic and over-looked.

WHAT? Oh yeah, THAT. Okay Okay, Yes I do realize that the movie was about an undiscovered island with a giant ape, and dinosaurs and man-eating bugs and all that, which of course is not really very realistic either, but still. With all that time invested in making the the creatures look they were really running around in the jungle, you'd think they could have added some blue lips and hard nipples to the poor girl with no coat stranded on the top of the tallest building in New York. Seriously.

T-out

PS. I did actually like it well enough. And I did get to have a little cat nap during the buggy parts. So if you like action, big creatures trying to kill humans, A big ape trying to get busy with a human, and an apparent lack of chillyness in New York in the winter, then this is a good one.

T-out

MTV presents Newlydivorced

2005-12-08T00:02:00.000-04:00

Nick & Jessica are over? NOOOOOO! Say it ain't so. Well damn, if they can't make it, who can?

2005-12-02T18:09:00.000-04:00

One more thing.

When I was driving to work this morning, I look over to my right and there is a Cab next to me. The driver is holding up a magnifying glass to his eye. Does anyone else find that terribly alarming?

T-out.

To all my Bitches!

2005-12-02T17:34:00.000-04:00

Hey guys! You are persistent aren't you? I'm here. I'm alive. And I'm at work late on a Friday afternoon. Boring eh?

Now that I've gone and gotten myself a new job I've been all busy and shit, trying to like manage people. Whew, its been a busy couple of weeks, but its totally worth it. My high life includes: an office with a view, my very own bookcase full of things I'm supposed to know about, shoulder-padded power suits, my minions bringing me scones with homemade strawberry jam and tea every morning... oh wait. That last part doesn't really ring true. But wouldn't it be nice? Hint hint to all you worker bees, managers like scones. and tea. Oh and the shoulder pads? Not so much there either. Apparently I have an abnormally small head* and shoulder pads would totally eat up my head.

Last weekend I went to Aim's (Hi Amy!) and played Scene It? I was totally drunk. I don't know it happened. Well I know HOW it happened, but I really didn't drink that much. Did I? Hmmm I had a couple glasses of wine. No prob. I had a couple of shots of Kaluha or Baileys or both. Okay. And a beer. or two. Nope, don't know why I was drunk at all. Remember when you could drink like a fish? A big pitcher of Long Island Ice tea and 4 double Rye & Cokes, then beer? 'member? Yeah me neither. For awhile I was a tequila girl. I would saunter up to the bar and just drink shots of tequila. It impressed the boys. Now, however, tequila has me fighting to keep my stomach from coming out my nostrils, which is equally impressive, just not in an attractive way.

Well I'm starting to fade out... I have to come in tomorrow and I'm so not looking forward to it. Ick.

Good night my Bitches!

* My head is small. Its short, like me. I can't find a hat that fits me to save my life. Seriously. If I had some sort of terminal illness that could only be cured by finding a hat that fits, I would die. Are earmuffs in fashion again?

Wooohooo!

2005-11-08T19:43:00.000-04:00

Hi y'all! Guess What? I gots me a promotion at work! Isn't that great? Yay! I'm like, going to be MANAGING people. I'm excited. And nervous. And scared. And Oh fuck, now I'm all sweating. Nah, no really I'm looking forward to the new job and bossing people around. ha.

And five completely unrelated thoughts:

1. I'm going to be an Auntie. My little sister is preggers and I'm excited. NOW. I've always been excited FOR her. But at first I was feeling all sorry for myself cause I'm the older sister and I'm just not in that place right now and maybe I should be, yada yada. But Now, I'm excited for me too. I'm so gonna be the favorite Aunt. There will be major baby spoilage, I will kick those other aunt's asses! Sorry Mark's sisters. No wait, I'm not sorry, bwwahhaha. Good times.

2. I hate KD commercials, especially the one where they talk about how nutritious it is? WTF mate? Essential nutrients? Right. Isn't it bad enough that there is an obesity problem in North America due to fast food and pre-packaged foods? You probably have to eat the whole damn box to get enough iron or calcium to matter, and in doing so you consume 50 grams of fat. So disgusting. Trailer park moms do not need another excuse to feed KD to their kids everynight. Ugh. That is not to say that I don't eat it once or twice a year, but I ain't kidding myself on its nutritional value.

3. I used to bite my nails and I've been really trying not too. But I really want to. Also I find that I can only concentrate on one willpower thing at a time. Like right now I am trying not to bite my nails, therefore I cannot stop eating food that is not good for me. See #4.

4. Chocolate is the devil, but I'm so buying what he's selling. I can't stop eating mini Halloween bars. And mini brownies that our Admin Assistant keeps bringing to morning meetings. Plus I wish it was Easter so I could get Cadbury mini eggs. RIGHT NOW!

5. Why can't my parents win the lottery? I don't play regularly myself (only when the jackpot is really big and I get all caught up in the lottery fever), so I really don't think I can wish for a win, but they play all the time. It would be really nice. I'm just saying.

Outta here.
T.

The Move

2005-10-31T21:29:00.000-04:00

Its been a busy couple of weeks. This is my hectic time at work and I've been working late and stressed over that. And at the same time, my parents have been dealing with THE BIG MOVE. I went and helped out this past weekend and lets just say, my parents deserve huge props.

See, my Grandparents have sold their home. The family home, the only home my grandmother has ever known. And it has been hard on everyone. They are understandably upset, but the time has come for them to move to a smaller and more manageable place. But with this decision, comes the clearing out of 50 to 75 years worth of stuff. My grandmother has lived there since she was 3 or 4, and then her and my grandfather were married and raised their kids there, my mother the third of five.

My parents moved closer to them a couple of years ago, and since then its been them who my grandparents call for everything. My mom cleans their place, my dad fixes leaks and cracks and electrical things. My mom takes them to doctors appointments, which over the last year has been VERY frequent. And now, with the move, its my parents who have had to arrange everything.

Now I love my grandparents (despite my bitching about old people), but they are not an easygoing pair. They fight. And they fight often. My grandfather grumbles about something, my grandmother raises her voice, my grandfather yells back and so on and so forth. So with all this upheaval in their life right now, that fighting is magnified by a hundred. And my grandfather is not being pleasant to deal with. He has accused my uncles and my dad of stealing his things, things as small as a screw driver, which is not, you may think, made of gold. He wants noone to have anything of his. My grandmother gave my uncle a fan, but my grandpa took it back. Even though the place they are moving to has A/C. He refuses to allow them to throw out junk, and I mean 50 year old rusty pieces of junk, saying he paid for them so he's damn well keeping them. Its a struggle. And neither of them seem to realize that they are moving to a 2 bedroom apartment. They are holding on so tight to their things, wanting to pack chipped dishes and broken lamps. My mom and I packed 50 empty jars the other day. EMPTY JARS! And for what? My grandmother has not pickled anything for years, or made jam, and she will most definitely not being doing so in future, but they will not let it go.

And while we all sympathize with their feelings, it does not an easy move make. I was kind of sad seeing the house. I remember going their every summer when I was a kid. Me and my sister would play in my grandparents bedroom for hours with these little ceramic birds. And we played checkers in the living room and ran around in the backyard, finding neat things in the old garage. So it is sad and overwhelming. I just hope once they are all moved in to their cute 2 bedroom apartment, they are able to feel at home, but until then, a couple of days from now, I fear there will be many more tears, arguments and hurt feelings.

To my mom and dad, I say good luck, stay strong! And BYE to Chestnut Street.

Oh NO!

2005-10-18T21:14:00.000-03:00

Well now I've done gone and become my mother. I just muttered "You know what you should do" to a co-worker. My mom's most favorite saying! We always laugh about it. Next I'll be shopping at Northern Reflections.

Mind you, who wouldn't want something as fancy as this?

This reminds me of one Christmas, I think I was about 16. My family went to my Aunt and Uncle's and young cousin's for the holidays. I was going through the typical teenage "I'm going to wear black and be all anti-establishment" phase. Plus I decided that week I was going to wear a touque, like, ALL THE TIME. Even inside. It was this black thing with an orange stripe. Whatever. Anyway, we head off to their place for Christmas. My uncle teased me as usual, but that's him, and he's funny as hell. CRUDE, but funny. So Christmas morning we are awoken at friggin 530 am by my cousin! Gasp. My family are not like that, even Christmas morning we're sleeping until 8 or so. But I digress, he was only about 7. Actually my sister and I had the worst sleep ever anyway, sharing a waterbed that the heater had somehow come unplugged so that we woke up with frozen kidneys and felt awful.

My cousin starts tearing into the gifts without a nod to who gave it, or show & tell about the gift. Which again, is so not my family. We're very one present at a time, then show, talk, give hugs, refill our Baileys and coffee again, move on to the next one. Actually I say one each but that doesn't include my mom, the gift giver-outer. Who every year gets so excited distributing gifts that she never opens hers and then we all have to sit and watch her at the end. And we get annoyed at her cause we suspect she just wants all eyes on her! (I jest because I love) Ahhh traditions.

So I come to this gift, which is from my aunt and uncle. (I don't know if they read this, but I think enough time has passed so...)It was a bright turquoise sweatshirt with hot pink trim. It was hideous! I wouldn't wear anything like that, and let me remind you that I was wearing black and sporting a touque. Of course, what do you do? You smile and say "it looks cozy" and hope next year she realizes that teenagers do not like the same thing as, um, 5 year olds. But actually she doesn't, in fact she looks to the elderly for inspiration and the next year you get a yellow sweater with flowers on it, which you lie and say is too big.

So yeah, if you are going to buy me a Christmas present, I say you can't go wrong with DIAMONDS!

T-out

What's a HooDoo?

2005-10-13T21:24:00.000-03:00

For all who asked what a HooDoo was: A hoodoo is a pillar of sediment carved by wind and water erosion. Because the underlying rock is more susceptible to the forces of nature, it erodes more quickly than the cap stone.

See how Nerdy I can be?

Fashion Police: Lessons Learned on Flight 103

2005-10-13T20:30:00.000-03:00

Hi y'all I went to Calgary for the Thanksgiving weekend to visit my sister and we had a blast! I saw me some dinosaur bones and everything. Here are some fashion faux pas I noticed on the plane.

Disclaimer: I am no fashionista. I may or may not follow trends, but I think I can recognize the good, the bad and the ugly. A teensy weensy bit catty too.

Lesson #1 Track Pants with a MESSAGE
Okay. Women with, how shall I say it? Um, Expansive posterior, should NOT wear track pants with sparkley "Princess" on the rear. You know what? Scratch that, women over the age of 12 should not wear track pants with "Princess" on the rear, or other such bold statements like "Diva" or " Cutie" or "Angel" for that matter. This woman was about 35. Not only did the P and the S get lost on the sides, but the N and the C were swallowed by crack of the arse. When you have a big bottom, why would you want to draw the eye there? Unless, yes that's it, unless she was an ACTUAL Princess!No other princess I know tell people they are princesses by having it printed in sparkly writing on their bottoms, but hey maybe she is a new princess and wasn't sure if people knew that yet. Good plan. Hmmm but wait a minute. Why would a princess be flying cheapy Canjet? Seriously, there is NO leg room. And you have to pay for water for crying out loud. I would have a thought a princess gig would pay better, huh.

Lesson #2 Trench Coat Pockets
This one is hard to explain. Young, pretty otherwise nicely dressed women should not sport trench coats that have GIANT pockets on the back. On the back people! Located where your bum is like huge pants pockets. First, why do you need pockets on the back of your coat? What would you put there? Like if you put some money or your keys back there, not only could someone steal it, but everytime you reached for something, you'd look like you were copping a feel on your own ass. Second, why so large? And with such large buttons. They were so hideous. And pointless. I guess her saving grace is that she didn't have a big booty too, or else, whoa.

Lesson # 3 Chinless Men
Making a change from clothing to um, grooming: Men with no chins should not shave facial hair into a beard shape in an attempt to give the illusion of a chin. Yeah, so I figure having no chin must suck. But I also figure anyone with EYES can see that you have no chin, so it might be better to just embrace your chinlessness, instead of trying to be all fooly fooly with your facial hair. He was standing in front of me in line to get on the plane and it was just so distracting. When he talked, the facial hair just bounced around where his chin should be.

So yeah, as I said above. CATTY. As my co-workers say, I'm "Tell Like it Is".

T-out

Addicted.

2005-10-04T17:46:00.000-03:00

Work is making me fat(ter). I cannot stop eating junkfood. Its like a serious problem. I had a meeting at work this morning and there were refreshments. There were muffins, danishes, two-bite brownies, cookies and tim-bits, apple juice, orange juice and coffee. I had an apple juice, a cookie and a brownie. It was 8 am. I had already eaten breakfast.

Skip to lunch. I had a veggie soup, a nice healthy choice. And a Snickers. There is a snack stand next to the bathroom on the main floor that we have to use right now because the one on our floor is being renovated. So I of course I got a chocolate bar.

Skip to 3pm. It's someone's birthday. At my work, when it is your birthday you bring in the snacks. And believe me, you better bring something good. It can be vicious. Once someone brought in some Chinese bean cake and there was nearly a riot. But really, can you blame us? A bean cake? ICK. Mind you, it was cake, so I did try it. and it was not tasty. Anyway, back to today, I was so not hungry but it was some raspberry coconut bar concoction which looked yum, so I had some. Now I totally feel disgusting, and disgusted (with myself).

So why do people hate me? Couldn't they just start bringing in nothing but Banana Cakes or Banana Cream Pies? That is the only way I can resist. I keep posting notes around saying BRING IN BANANAS! But people don't listen, they bring in german chocoate cake, butter tarts, cheesecake, nanimo bars and other tasty goodies. Bastards.

T-(rolling herself out of her chair)OUT

A tag even I can do

2005-09-29T23:14:00.000-03:00

I've gotten tagged a couple of times and I haven't done any of them. Sorry guys! But this one's easy peasy.

Here are the instructions:

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

This is from my post Mostly Smiles.
May 4, 2005

My kitty likes the balcony and has had some good times rubbing her body all over it(whatever - its cute).

I tag: Tanya; Theresa; Heather and because everyone else seems to be taken...whoever wants to.

That Ad is Whack YO

2005-09-29T14:09:00.000-03:00

Yeah so have you seen the Tampax tampon ad, the one in the boat? Um, EW.

In case you haven't, here's the lowdown:
Boy and Girl are on a canoe in the middle of a lake having a nice romantic date. Then, gasp! There's a hole in the boat (dear Liza, dear Liza). As the boy looks frantically around for something to fix it, the Girl reaches into her gargantuan sized purse which houses a full box of Tampax Pearl Tampons and plugs the hole.

She plunges that tampon into the hole. Talk about a mood killer. The guy, however seems unfazed. Quite icky really. And as my male co-worker commented, guys so do not need details on how the plunging and plugging work. Hell I'm a girl, and I don't really need the visual thanks. And who carries a full box of tampons on a date? Its like wearing a sign that says, "Yeah I know you went through all this trouble to set up this romantic sail, but you ain't getting any SUCKER!"

If you haven't seen it, and um, want to, check it out here.

Jury's Still Out

2005-09-28T19:56:00.000-03:00

Well haven't I been a neglectful bee-otch. I'd like to say its cause I've been busy, but alas, its just cause I've been lazy and boring. ugh. But anyhoo, on with the post:

So I watched Amazing Race Family last night. At first I was totally against watching, you know cause I HATE when then ruin perfectly good shows by turning them into dumbed-down, family-friendly crap. I want drama, I want back-stabbing, I want pure "do-anything" competition. And yeah, I was right, Amazing Race is starting out less than stellar. But I may or may not be hooked. Like a train wreck, I may not be able to turn away. I'll let you know if I'm going to be injecting this shit like heroin.

So here are some observations/critiques:

1. Like, this is totally a North American Adventure. What a rip-off. I mean I'm all for exploring your nation, but America looks pretty much the same all over. The other Amazing Races were so exciting because they were in places where English wasn't spoken, or that there were no white people, or the culture was so far removed. It took people out of their comfort zone. Quite obviously there isn't going to be the fast forward that has the family members shaving their heads or eating monkey brains. Disappointing.

2. There are too many people to get to know. Having four people run and talk all at once is just annoying. Plus there are kids. Blah. Kids are cute and all, but its just so "look at our kids, they can run faster than adults, they are small and can fit in our pocket, don't talk shit around our kids, don't push my kids out of the way" Annoying. I heard most of the challenges were going to be educational in nature, you know, for the kids. Some of the families are just down-right irritating. Their screeching and "cheerleading" made my ears bleed. "I made cookies!" are you fucking kidding me?

3. The Black family was indeed black. I know its wrong, but I totally almost peed my pants. When they were first introduced, I was like, as in a TOKEN black family? What's next, this is the Mexican family? Then, Oh, their NAME is Black. Ha.

4. Phil, the host, has the craziest arched brow EVER.

5. They are making a Pope movie.

6. That last one had nothing to do with Amazing Race, I just saw it on Entertainment Tonight and thought it was kind of silly. Are people really THAT interested in the Pope's life? Maybe it be a Catholic thang. Yeah I'll probably watch it.

So its started, I'll let you know next week if I tuned in. Sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm a TV junkie. Well more like a TV slut. I like to go from one show to another, there are only a couple of shows that I keep going back to, and a lot I've seen only once. Honestly people, this is not saying anything about me, like, in my LIFE.

later,
T-out.

Friday Night Cosmos

2005-09-18T16:31:00.000-03:00

Friday was my friend Tree's Birthday so we went into Toronto to a friend's place for some homemade pizzas, garlic fingers, cake and of course, plenty of BOOZE! Cosmos to be exact, and they were fabulously yummy.

I love getting together with the girls for a night of chatty and drinky, its so fun and this Friday was no different. At the risk of giving men too much information on the habits of drunken women get-togethers (for the last time boys, we RARELY have naked pillow fights!)I must wonder: Whatever possesses us women to discuss hair removal of the bikini area with such intimate detail, as to render us incapacitated from laughing so hard. Always with the bikini wax, why oh why?

I wonder if men sit around and chat about similar issues, a bad case of jock itch for example. I imagine something like, "Hey man, hand me another Bud. Yeah that chick has a great rack, but did I tell you about this new cream I found? Its like, the BEST for jock itch. Put some on when you get out of the shower, and it so totally reduces irritation. Its awesome! And it's on sale right now at Shoppers for 25% percent off." And its met with enthusiastic nods, laughter and agreement by the others.

I can totally picture that, can't you?

By the way, an award should be given to Tree for "BEST HAND GESTURE TO DESCRIBE A BRAZILIAN", you know, like IF there was an award for that.

Good times had by all. Special award to A's boyfriend for not DYING of embarrassment.

T-out

The House! The House! The House is on Fire!

2005-09-14T21:45:00.000-03:00

When I got home tonight, there was a fire department SUV and two cop cars outside of my apartment building. "Interesting" I thought. It was eerily quiet, there wasn't the usual throng gathered out front smoking. But then again it was raining, and well I figured that if there was something on fire, then there would be like a fire truck, and alarms and firemen. But when I pulled into the underground and then walked into the basement, I could smell smoke. As I got up to the 7th floor, I figured everything was cool. My apartment was fine, even though it did smell a bit. And my landlord must have come in because all my windows were open, to air it out I guess.

Then about 20 minutes later there was a knock at my door and a cutie* fireman (not in the gear or anything)came to get my statement. I just got home, says I. Then he proceeds to tell me that there was a fire in a 6th floor apartment, that it is totally destroyed, and the woman inside has burns over 50% of her body! So scary. I didn't ask what happened, like if it was cooking or candles or smoking, but needless to say, it has me a bit freaked out.

What if the fire had spread, and destroyed the whole building? What about my kitty? What if it had happened at night when I was here and I was trapped? It was only one floor down afterall. And I don't have apartment insurance, but I am so getting some now.

My place doesn't smell much now, so I think its okay. And I hope that woman is okay. Terrible shame that.

Everyone have a good safe night now,
T-out

* Damn, what is it about firemen? Bloody H-O-T this guy was. All muscley in his
uniform and a smooth bald head, and dreamy eyes(bedroom eyes my mom would call them).
He asked if he could come in, or would I prefer to talk to him in the hall. Such a gentleman too! Of course I asked him in, then asked if he could just check my bedroom to make sure there was no damage and then I threw him on the bed and ravaged him. Okay so that last part wasn't true, but wouldn't it be better if it was? Yeah I thought so.