A tag even I can do

I've gotten tagged a couple of times and I haven't done any of them. Sorry guys! But this one's easy peasy.

Here are the instructions:

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

This is from my post Mostly Smiles.
May 4, 2005

My kitty likes the balcony and has had some good times rubbing her body all over it(whatever - its cute).


I tag: Tanya; Theresa; Heather and because everyone else seems to be taken...whoever wants to.

That Ad is Whack YO

Yeah so have you seen the Tampax tampon ad, the one in the boat? Um, EW.

In case you haven't, here's the lowdown:
Boy and Girl are on a canoe in the middle of a lake having a nice romantic date. Then, gasp! There's a hole in the boat (dear Liza, dear Liza). As the boy looks frantically around for something to fix it, the Girl reaches into her gargantuan sized purse which houses a full box of Tampax Pearl Tampons and plugs the hole.

She plunges that tampon into the hole. Talk about a mood killer. The guy, however seems unfazed. Quite icky really. And as my male co-worker commented, guys so do not need details on how the plunging and plugging work. Hell I'm a girl, and I don't really need the visual thanks. And who carries a full box of tampons on a date? Its like wearing a sign that says, "Yeah I know you went through all this trouble to set up this romantic sail, but you ain't getting any SUCKER!"

If you haven't seen it, and um, want to, check it out here.

Jury's Still Out

Well haven't I been a neglectful bee-otch. I'd like to say its cause I've been busy, but alas, its just cause I've been lazy and boring. ugh. But anyhoo, on with the post:

So I watched Amazing Race Family last night. At first I was totally against watching, you know cause I HATE when then ruin perfectly good shows by turning them into dumbed-down, family-friendly crap. I want drama, I want back-stabbing, I want pure "do-anything" competition. And yeah, I was right, Amazing Race is starting out less than stellar. But I may or may not be hooked. Like a train wreck, I may not be able to turn away. I'll let you know if I'm going to be injecting this shit like heroin.

So here are some observations/critiques:

1. Like, this is totally a North American Adventure. What a rip-off. I mean I'm all for exploring your nation, but America looks pretty much the same all over. The other Amazing Races were so exciting because they were in places where English wasn't spoken, or that there were no white people, or the culture was so far removed. It took people out of their comfort zone. Quite obviously there isn't going to be the fast forward that has the family members shaving their heads or eating monkey brains. Disappointing.

2. There are too many people to get to know. Having four people run and talk all at once is just annoying. Plus there are kids. Blah. Kids are cute and all, but its just so "look at our kids, they can run faster than adults, they are small and can fit in our pocket, don't talk shit around our kids, don't push my kids out of the way" Annoying. I heard most of the challenges were going to be educational in nature, you know, for the kids. Some of the families are just down-right irritating. Their screeching and "cheerleading" made my ears bleed. "I made cookies!" are you fucking kidding me?

3. The Black family was indeed black. I know its wrong, but I totally almost peed my pants. When they were first introduced, I was like, as in a TOKEN black family? What's next, this is the Mexican family? Then, Oh, their NAME is Black. Ha.

4. Phil, the host, has the craziest arched brow EVER.

5. They are making a Pope movie.

6. That last one had nothing to do with Amazing Race, I just saw it on Entertainment Tonight and thought it was kind of silly. Are people really THAT interested in the Pope's life? Maybe it be a Catholic thang. Yeah I'll probably watch it.

So its started, I'll let you know next week if I tuned in. Sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm a TV junkie. Well more like a TV slut. I like to go from one show to another, there are only a couple of shows that I keep going back to, and a lot I've seen only once. Honestly people, this is not saying anything about me, like, in my LIFE.

later,
T-out.

Friday Night Cosmos

Friday was my friend Tree's Birthday so we went into Toronto to a friend's place for some homemade pizzas, garlic fingers, cake and of course, plenty of BOOZE! Cosmos to be exact, and they were fabulously yummy.

I love getting together with the girls for a night of chatty and drinky, its so fun and this Friday was no different. At the risk of giving men too much information on the habits of drunken women get-togethers (for the last time boys, we RARELY have naked pillow fights!)I must wonder: Whatever possesses us women to discuss hair removal of the bikini area with such intimate detail, as to render us incapacitated from laughing so hard. Always with the bikini wax, why oh why?

I wonder if men sit around and chat about similar issues, a bad case of jock itch for example. I imagine something like, "Hey man, hand me another Bud. Yeah that chick has a great rack, but did I tell you about this new cream I found? Its like, the BEST for jock itch. Put some on when you get out of the shower, and it so totally reduces irritation. Its awesome! And it's on sale right now at Shoppers for 25% percent off." And its met with enthusiastic nods, laughter and agreement by the others.

I can totally picture that, can't you?

By the way, an award should be given to Tree for "BEST HAND GESTURE TO DESCRIBE A BRAZILIAN", you know, like IF there was an award for that.

Good times had by all. Special award to A's boyfriend for not DYING of embarrassment.

T-out

The House! The House! The House is on Fire!

When I got home tonight, there was a fire department SUV and two cop cars outside of my apartment building. "Interesting" I thought. It was eerily quiet, there wasn't the usual throng gathered out front smoking. But then again it was raining, and well I figured that if there was something on fire, then there would be like a fire truck, and alarms and firemen. But when I pulled into the underground and then walked into the basement, I could smell smoke. As I got up to the 7th floor, I figured everything was cool. My apartment was fine, even though it did smell a bit. And my landlord must have come in because all my windows were open, to air it out I guess.

Then about 20 minutes later there was a knock at my door and a cutie* fireman (not in the gear or anything)came to get my statement. I just got home, says I. Then he proceeds to tell me that there was a fire in a 6th floor apartment, that it is totally destroyed, and the woman inside has burns over 50% of her body! So scary. I didn't ask what happened, like if it was cooking or candles or smoking, but needless to say, it has me a bit freaked out.

What if the fire had spread, and destroyed the whole building? What about my kitty? What if it had happened at night when I was here and I was trapped? It was only one floor down afterall. And I don't have apartment insurance, but I am so getting some now.

My place doesn't smell much now, so I think its okay. And I hope that woman is okay. Terrible shame that.

Everyone have a good safe night now,
T-out

* Damn, what is it about firemen? Bloody H-O-T this guy was. All muscley in his
uniform and a smooth bald head, and dreamy eyes(bedroom eyes my mom would call them).
He asked if he could come in, or would I prefer to talk to him in the hall. Such a gentleman too! Of course I asked him in, then asked if he could just check my bedroom to make sure there was no damage and then I threw him on the bed and ravaged him. Okay so that last part wasn't true, but wouldn't it be better if it was? Yeah I thought so.

I hate it when that happens...

I saw this on the back of a car today:

DICK IDE

I'll just let you mull that over for now.